Open Letter to the Deer I Almost Stepped On

Dear Mrs. Deer,

I wanted to take this opportunity to apologize for almost stepping on you last week as I was taking my run through the park. It was not my intention to startle you in such a way; I was simply going for a jog, and did not mean to disturb your afternoon nap.

Likewise, I’m sorry that, after you sprang up to run away, I screamed at you and made those ‘Kung Fu’ motions with my arms and legs. While I am sure that you were further alarmed by me doing this, it was simply a result of you startling me as well.

I realize that while I often run through the woods there, it is your home, and there is no excuse for frightening you the way that I did. I would consider it a great inconvenience if you were to barge into my living room, so I can imagine how such an intrusion must have made you feel.

Again, I’m sorry for showing up so abruptly. It’s probably of little consequence, but you may take some comfort in the fact that the encounter almost made me crap myself, too.

Hoping to see you again soon, although from a slightly greater distance,